a history and a tangent

I suppose it's easiest to start from the beginning of my fetishism.
My interest in latex coincided with my first orgasm, so it's really been a part of me for about as long as I can remember. While growing up alongside the emergence of the internet and the subsequent spread of concepts, ideas, and lets admit it, pornography.. I took my lust stemming from my bodily urges online. I think that my most basic turn-on's at the time were latex and body-enhancement or prosthetics (but I'll get more into that in future posts).

So of course when I first hit the net one of the first few key-words plugged into the primitive search engine was 'latex'. The first site I can remember frequenting was L-A-Tex.com. That site in itself was a great link resource for various other sites (it still is), so I can thank much of my early-on familiarity with latex to them.
Over the years I shifted from subject to subject, sub-category to sub-category, perversion to perversion. There was some basic quality about latex that I understood as being arousing, but only through exploring other fetishes did I really begin to understand what was so alluring about rubber. (all from a distance and online of course. Although I hope to get more into the fetish culture) The few that I'm going to focus on are furrys, zentai, and masking.

photo taken from Jovinas masking site
Furrys (right) have always struck me as being interesting. At first it seemed a bit odd, but then later I began to better understand what was so attractive about it, to me at least. I started browsing the sites to see what new and inventive costumes people were coming up with, but also just to further familiarizing myself with the whole culture. The part that I felt was especially erotic was the idea of, through suiting up, being able to assume an entirely different identity where one can let certain dormant personality traits shine through the inherent connotation of the animal or the specific way that the costume is designed. Then of course, once making a transformation, it's all kinds of fun!

I have also noticed that through the past few years (maybe even decade) that the public has for some reason made a spectacle of furrys as being almost a standard for perversion. On TV I remember seeing two programs on MTV (Real life: I'm a..., I think) one being about furries and another being about plushies. Then I saw an episode of real-sex, a show that explores perversions, but typically puts them in their context letting each perversion or fetish make a lot more sense. However, with the furries episode they just showed it as a breif aside without any contextualization or explanation for the unenlightened viewer, resulting in a complete mis-perception. Then, the latest and probably most popular show to hi-lite furries was CSI. Then some years after seeing these programs I noticed a small wave (but wave none-the-less) in comedy shows that would occasionally use mascots or just people dressed as animals in sexual situations which was supposed to be funny I guess, but I never really understood, which is probably because I have a better understanding of the allure of the furry fetish than the average viewer.
I think that the reason for all this attention on furries is due to the fact that it's something that is easily put on television! cause it's not like one could put an anal, nipple, scat, or any other overtly sexual fetish on TV, so it seems like they were just picking on the people that they could most easily.. anyway, there's more information on the subject at this web-page.




Zentai, the picture was grabbed from an image finder on google from (stores.tw.ebay.com). Just so I don't get sued or anything.. But as you can see, again this concept of giving up one's identity is present. However, I feel that zentai departs heavily from furrys in that one isn't necessarily giving up their own identity to assume a new and improved one, but rather they are merely giving up defining features of themselves and becoming an idealized image. this image for example, it's an idealized, basic, smooth, yet raw depiction of the female form. With this transformation one becomes less realistic and more symbolic.. and let's be honest, most people are attracted to the symbolic cues they perceive in others. Because when one becomes symbolic, they become objectified, and there's nothing more sexy than occasionally turning yourself into nothing more than a piece of meat or someone else's wet dream.

Although, taking that idea a step further away from the abstract, there is an inherent sexual aspect of being contained and held in. letting a fabric pull tightly against your entire body accentuating every curve and smoothing out any unwanted bumps, being able to look into the mirror and not see yourself can be exciting if you've ever tried it.
moving on..


Masking
Again, there are some commonalities here as far as what the allure is. Similar to what furrys provided for me, the replacement of an identity with a new one, but with a more realistic depiction, resulting in.. a more real, more sexual, more absorbing experience, for me at least.

From jumping to each of these fetishes I started to realize what drew me in about latex; the idealization of the form, objectification of the flesh, and loss of individuality.
Now I feel like I've evolved into a latex fetishist who carries two different persona's. There's my masculine side which comes out when I get suited up in my male gear, but then my feminine side that makes her appearance when I pull on my women's wear and female mask.

From this split in my personality caused somewhat of a divide in my interests, with the underlying unifying love of rubber. I feel like over the past few years my female side has been wanting to come out more and more and hence, the creation of this online alter-ego Anima. However, due to lack of time, effort, and caring, my male side will reside here too. =P

But now I'm left with an overall fetish that I thoroughly enjoy, but am still open to change and evolution.. So for the past few months, years, however long. I have been fascinated with the gray areas between fetishes, the overlap.

In the future I am planning on posting more pictures from various sites, but I am still in the process of getting permission. So in due time..

anyway. I could go infinitely, but I need to get to sleep..
In the coming entries I'll try to stay more focused, hopefully get something really solid down, so I can actually look back at something good! heh