Friday, February 17, 2006

Anima Appears

(I'm looking shy cause I still kind of am)

So I’ve been a member at rubberpal.com for almost 2 months and have accumulated about 300 visits over that time. I put up my first fem picture on my profile and 24 hours later.. about 100 more hits.
Insanity, but not unexpected insanity.

I still find it a little odd, just because if I ever browse around the site I generally look at just as many male profiles as I do female. Thinking about it again, I probably check out more males, but that has a lot to do with the fact that most profiles on rubberpal are made by males.

The underlying issue, with me, is that I’m interested in the fetish, the psychology behind my shared interest, the imagination and inspiration, the fantasies transforming into realities through rubber. It doesn’t really matter if I’m looking at a man or a woman or a man dressed as a woman or woman dressed as a man or a completely genderless figure, it’s all of interest. There’s something fascinating how, for many, latex engenders fantasy. It’s wonderful to see people bravely donning their rubber gear in their most shameful yet most fantastic moments… however there are those who take no shame in their rubber identities and I think that that’s great.

I have to admit that I am and have been largely ashamed of my fetish. It’s made it easier to have someone else with me along with an online community to help me feel more normal about it, but at the same time you don’t see any pictures of my face in any of the images on this site. A central reason for this is because I’d prefer to remain anonymous, as to protect and maintain my vanilla life. Another reason, which plays a huge part in me not revealing my face, is the fact that I want to relate to people and present myself symbolically.

I think that once someone’s face plays a central role in their online identity something changes. They suddenly become a person; like our co-workers, peers, and families. For some this is unsettling, for others it is refreshing. In thinking about how I wanted to be seen on this blog and through my fetish related profiles I wanted to keep things purely on a rubber and latex interest level. I belong to other groups etc. for my normal life and this is my second blog. So I intend on keeping it, for the most part, fetish related.

I also think that people, especially in the fetish community, relate to one another on a symbolic level. So in keeping with this idea I wanted to make myself into a symbol, an ideal (but not idealized). Basically simplifying myself and my fetish down through images, because all the complicated stuff I can express with words. I also like the look that latex gives the human form, it smoothes out all the bumps and imperfections and makes one look sleek and… well, ideal. Most people in a basic catsuit covered from head to toe generally fit into some basic human archetype which is always fun to take a look at. On the other hand, it’s interesting to see how people transform themselves to fit their interests.. like I have with this new identity.

Anyway, it’s been loads of fun taking pictures and progressing my ever-growing collection of thoughts and feelings. Hope everybody stays tuned!

Oh yeah. One more stat I just noticed; within the first day of being linked to closet monsters site my meter jumped from 50 hits to 400. Thank you Closet Monster! =D
In other news; this weekend I’m not going to be in my apt, so I won’t have access to my pics, so here’s another. I’ll air the rest out in the following entries... Sorry 'bout the pictureless weekend, but I've got work to do.

(I'm getting a little more comfortable in front of the camera) =D

......and yeah, I’m still putting off the explanation blog =P

P.S. - I'm in the process of giving the site a different look (see the new header my GF made for me?).. and since I'm so computer illiterate, there may be a few funky things coming and going and the site overall looking half-way right at times.

2 Comments:

Anonymous ClosetMonster said...

Glad to be of service, eh? ;)

Now that people know you're here, I'm sure you'll be bringing them back on your own merits. Great discussion points and pics!

You're very lucky to have a girlfriend such as yours! Better treat her well. :)

12:08 PM

 
Anonymous PrescriptionZXC said...

Damn right you show yourself! One as beautiful as you shouldn't be hidden away from the world. You've got some clever writing too, keep it up (along with pictures) and people will have many reasons to come back.

6:18 PM

 

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