Men-n-Feminism.. go figure

So I was sitting in a class about women which is, as one would guess, taught by a female feminist.
Normally in the course we observe media, then write papers about it. Yeah, it's pretty simple and straight forward. It's actually my 'mickey mouse' course of the semester ('mickey mouse' being an especially easy class put in one's schedule to lighten the load). The point I'm getting at is that there is very little discussion.

This particular day we didn't watch anything in class and it ended up being a discussion, well it was actually more of a lecture than anything else.
It started off with the professor talking about some of the readings we were assigned to do along with ideas she implanted on some of the things we had seen throughout the course. About thirty minutes in to the three hour class she went off on a few random tangents about the hardships men have put women through and why women are second class citizens.. the answer being, MEN!

Now having all these ideas discussed and being reflected back to her by all the girls in the class made it abundantly clear that I was only one of the two males in the room. After basically putting my male comrade and me on a cross I figured it was time to stop her before she got the metaphorical nails and hammer out.

I started listening intently to what she and the other people participating in the discussion were saying so I could start tearing holes in their arguments. This is also not the first course I've attended that has been taught by a die-hard feminist, so this technique of winning the class over and changing the direction of discussion is not foreign to me.

The topic was on sexuality being, for women, empowering through vulnerability, basically saying it's strength in weakness.
The discussion then moved to men and talking about how we can get away with doing or wearing whatever we want without anyone caring. This was reinforced with an example made by a student in saying that she can't wear skirts without being harassed.

It was at this point that I decided to interject. I first made the point that anyone's empowerment is only given to them by others, therefore men are giving women empowerment through their desire to for women. Therefore when women dress scantily they are made powerful by the male gaze, putting men in the position of wanting and weakness.

Now men could strip this power from women by crossing a few boundaries (law, ethical, social, etc.) and take that power back by raping them or something. Giving that particular man the upper hand because he is getting what he wants, but how often are people raped?
More than half of the girls in my class were dressed quite provocatively and I think it's safe to assume that 1) they dress that way decently often and 2) none of them have ever been raped.
Also, it's not as though we live in a social climate where things like rape happen too often, and even when it does it's usually the case that half-way through intercourse a girl wants to stop and the guy prolongs it a few more minutes (I know this from talking to a few people who say they have been 'raped').

I then started to respond to 'how men can do or wear whatever they want'. The girl who said it was wearing an extremely tight t-shirt that was showing her belly button and butt-hugging jeans. My first thought was to say; 'you think you get a lot of unwanted attention wearing skirts or revealing clothes? lets switch outfits right now and walk down the street and we'll see who gets more attention." Although, I refrained from saying this because as I was going to, it immediately struck a chord with the x-dressing part of me and I thought I would be made too uncomfortable to continue if I said that.

Instead I stated that women have much more freedom to wear what they want than men; my example being as normal lower-body attire women can wear skirts, dresses, tight or loose pants, while men can only socially acceptably wear loose pants. Women can wear most anything without social repremand, while men have far more restrictions. Tying back to the previous argument, what percentage of women who have publicly dressed provocatively been assaulted or raped? probably a very small portion.
What percentage of men who have publicly dressed provocatively (generaly in women's clothing) been assaulted or killed? I'd say a much much larger proportion.

This subject of restrictions spawned into a new discussion involving broader ideas about male and female gender roles.
They started talking about how women are now expected to be the bread-winner, the mother, the wife, the keeper of the house, strong, independent, while still weak and emotional. Now, much of this may be true, but the underlying reality is that a woman as an individual is not expected to be all those things, it's just that they've had the opportunities opened to them. The truth of the matter is that with opportunities opening for women, responsibilities have been reinforced for men.
Throughout the past men have had the responsibility of providing for and taking care of their families. Now with roles changing and women being slightly overloaded, the same is happening to men. Previously it was good to be a strong, independent, and wealthy man and that was all. Now it's not enough, now we need to be the strong, independent, wealthy man, emotionally available/stable husband and father, in addition to house-keeper, chef, and be able to take charge but willing to give up control.

I mean, there's certainly a double standard here. For a woman to be a house-wife it's considered normal, maybe they'll get a few sneers from the working mothers in the neighborhood, but just think of how people would react to a man being a house-husband who doesn't work and stays home with the kids? Or what if a husband plays their normal role; hard working, making money, providing for his family, but is never around. Well, he is in violation of being an available father and husband! A woman in the same position would not be called unavailable or a bad mother, she is; motivated, ambitious, insert positive adjective here, etc.

The underlying issue is that throughout the past women have been associated with beauty and weakness while men have been associated with strength and utility. Now women's roles are changing, but since they have not changed entirely yet, women can still acceptably be 'weak' or admirably strong. Men on the other hand, from having the advantage throughout history is expected to be able to accommodate these changes, but since we started in the position of strength, in many ways we have to stay there, but at the same time take on the feminine roles that have been planted onto us through their lack in the female community. So we are expected to be both strong and weak.

Now I'm not trying to say that women have all the rights that men do, nor do I think it's especially easy or pleasant to be a woman. I also don't entirely disagree with my teacher or other hard-core feminists, because I understand that sometimes one needs to make a big splash in order to create a small wave of change. I do agree with many of the underlying issues brought up, as long as I can steer clear of words like, "phallistrocratic" and "manocracy".
It's just that I don't like being singled out and placed into a stereotype, especially when I don't even remotely fit the generalization. I mean, anyone who knows me well knows that I carry many traits that would typically be considered feminine. Also my actual situation is very much reversed; I'm going to school and staying at home most of the time while my gf is out working all day and bringing home dinner. I mean, I'm very acquainted with the differences between the social constructs of male and female, but I'm not trying to pretend that I've even close to knowing what it is to be like a woman. That's actually played a large role in my interest in x-dressing, being able to explore those differences between male/female, man/woman.

So I just felt a bit more offended considering that I was being accused of being a typical 'man' when I'm anything but, and to add insult to injury, it's coming from a person who has clearly never tried to see what it's like or even considered the male point of view before spewing all these bias ideas.

Well, in the end it turned out alright because after I challenged the teacher over the course of about 15 minutes, the sentiment of the class drastically changed. Suddenly it seemed as though I had opened the eyes of all the girls in my class to the male situation.
I was actually quite surprised how quickly my class-mates turned on my teacher, but at the same time if you only offer 1 point of view then that's all that people will see. So I'm pleased that I was able to give an alternative to the class and they chose to take to it.

It was also kind of funny because before and during the class I was considering getting dressed up in the evening.. well, I did. but it was kind of strange to be thinking about that while being assaulted about being an oppressive, close-minded, masculine man.

go figure...
(I also have to do something about the color contrast and the folds in my neck =P )