Tuesday, May 30, 2006

one at a time, please.

Ok Ok, you don't all have to welcome my homecoming at once!
(hmm, it's a little difficult to express sarcasm without any sort of voice inflection)

Well I'm back and school has already started once again for me. So there's not much fun to be had over on my end.
The trip itself was quite an experience. Before I left I had incidentally found a few sites that detailed fetish clubs/stores in Montreal. It seemed like the city was bursting with latex-related shops and venues, but upon getting there and spending hours driving around the city none were found. However, I wasn't actually looking for any, just hoping we may run across a couple by chance.

The central feature about the trip that I found interesting was spending the time with the 3 other guys that I went with. I've been friends with all of them for a few years now, but I have never been around any of them for more than a few hours at a time let alone 9 days.

I quickly realized that they were very much "normal guys" in the way they saw sexuality. Throughout our time together my friends were constantly talking about breasts, penises, and a variety of orifices. They all cracked extremely sexual jokes and made a point to call attention to attractive women whenever they saw them. They even pointed out every billboard with a 'hot chick' on them.

I found it all strange and alienating.
Because of my different views of women, sexuality, masculinity, and relationships it caused a number of heated discussions that never went anywhere. They all saw the ideal woman to be one of two things; a slave to their boyfriends/husbands or a sexual object. To them; a woman who was unattractive was as good as living garbage and only worthy of 'an easy fuck'.

It was truly appalling dealing with them, but at the same time gave me an enormous amount of perspective on how most guys operate. So in looking at this trip anthropologically I started to try to understand how they saw themselves as well as other men in the world.

Each of them saw sex as something that is purely sexual (which I guess doesn't sound weird when you say it, but seems like a foreign idea to me). They admitted that love and emotional attachment can co-exist with sex, but is rare and unnecessary. None of them had problems with the idea of prostitution and they all participated in the solicitation of it.
2 of them have long-term girlfriends and one of them is just starting to date someone new. They all spent the entire time saying how they'd 'love to fuck' about half of the girls we saw on the trip and one actually paid for oral sex on multiple occasions.

Every time I repelled female attention or didn't pay for some sexual favor they all flocked around me telling me that something was wrong with me. They all believed that after ending a relationship the best thing to do is... well, get under someone to get over someone. However, that just wasn't an option for me. If there was one person that I wanted to be with, it was my ex.. and even if I were over her, then the larger issue would be the fact that I don't just mess around with people physically. I went through a phase when I did do that years ago, but now I don't cross any physical boundaries unless there's love or at least the clear potential for it in the future.

I find it upsetting that their views are literally the norm as can be reflected in society.. I mean, strip clubs and pornography aren't booming businesses for no reason.. it's because the world is predominantly filled with guys like these friends of mine.

I hated feeling so much like an outsider and I hated even more that I've always and still hold the idea that women are equal to men in the sense that we are all human beings, that women are to be cherished and appreciated, not used and abused, that in relationships both parties should be liberated by the other and not controlled, but even in putting all these ideals to practice I was the one of the four men without someone waiting at home for me while away. I was the only one who let his girlfriend be free in the relationship, I was the only one who empathized with his partner, and I was the only one who didn't cheat on his girlfriend because he truly felt no desire to... and I was the only one who wasn't able to maintain what was sacred, I was the only one who was alone..

It almost made me question my beliefs, but the idea of merely abandoning what I truly feel to be right was just not an option.. I guess this experience will only make me stronger, it's just a matter of finding that silver lining and living it out.

P.S. -
Does anyone know of any digital cameras I can get that has a remote so I can take pictures without actually holding/touching the camera?


Anonymous Anonymous said...

You know, what you are going through with those guys was a form of "mob behavior" that seems to happen with young men who are running in a pack, so to speak. It's an odd time in life, and you will soon find that the opportunities to get together with a group of men all around the same age in this manner will be few and far between. You don't often see a group of 45 year old men doing anything but playing poker or bowling, certainly not a road trip.
Conversely, when you do have one of those rare occaisions where you do get together with grpoups of men, you'll find a number of them who will revert to this kind of behavior. The same guys, one on one, will not nearly be so anti-woman, crassly macho and whatnot.

You should know that the majority of men do not view hard core pornography or even read blogs with a sexual (such as this one) overtone of any sort. A large minority do, perhaps, but the majority is pretty vanilla.

Finally, there are a large number of women who self identify as sex objects and will not hesitate to effectively "sell" theri physical attractiveness. I'm not trying to excuse predatory male behavior here either, just trying to point out it's sort of a cultural norm, for better or worse.

Just take a look at any online dating site. Study what you see. That;s our society in a nutshell.

The good thing is there are plenty of women who will appreciate your attitude. This is good, because the reality of the situation is that you have a fetish. It's not too likely to just stop and go away, so you'll need to find a woman who will accept and not be put off by your kinky desires.
If you also had a "fuck anything that moves" attitude, you'd be shit out of luck.

11:15 PM

Anonymous The Man said...

It's very interesting to hear your experience on the trip. Since I'm stuck over here in Iraq I get to see a lot of that and I get all kinds of different perspectives on how my fellow Marines see women.
Personally, I have never been one to just see a women as some object or quick means to get laid. I feel that a woman means just as much as I do and should be treated with the same respect that I am deserving of.
It can be almost repulsive at how womanizing and childish other men can be. What's even worse is how other men can see female maskers. I've seen this on many occassions and at one point I was guilty of it myself in my younger years. It's amazing how putting on a latex bodysuit and mask can turn you from a human being into something that people just want to treat like an object and something to get them off.
I have never really done much masking before but it's become even more of an issue and concern since I have and I have been treated in this way myself when people have seen me dressed up. Most other masker's and my friends who do kigurumi are definitely not the type to treat someone like that because they know how it feels to be treated so poorly. I have to cut this short but I hope it gets a few people thinking . TM out.

2:55 AM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

This is a deep line of commenting...so I'm gonna throw a monkey wrench in it! great to see ya back anima, been working the overnight shift and didnt see when ya first came back. I found myself laughing because your friends sound like my friends and I. I think you need to take what they say with a grain of salt, me and my friends talk like that but with the exception of one degenerate we are all long time relationship monogomous people. That being said when it comes to prostitutes I mean me and my friends talk about it because its kinda of a funny subject in a 10 year old mentality way, someone getting money for sex, but we'd never do it cause its dirty, not like taboo dirty but oh my god my penis is black with green spots now dirty. But like your earlier discussion of what fetish means to people, maybe your boy just has a fetish for hookers.


2:45 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Best Free Porn Movies Gallery :
[url=http://freexmovies.info]porn[/url] [url=http://uniform.freexmovies.info]uniform[/url] [url=http://transsexuals.freexmovies.info]transsexuals[/url] [url=http://toying.freexmovies.info]toying[/url] [url=http://teen-sex.freexmovies.info]teen-sex[/url] [url=http://teen-porn.freexmovies.info]teen-porn[/url] [url=http://teen-oral.freexmovies.info]teen-oral[/url] [url=http://russian-porn.freexmovies.info]russian-porn[/url] [url=http://pornstar.freexmovies.info]pornstar[/url] [url=http://porn-star.freexmovies.info]porn-star[/url] [url=http://pissing.freexmovies.info]pissing[/url] [url=http://oral-sex.freexmovies.info]oral-sex[/url] [url=http://nylon.freexmovies.info]nylon[/url] [url=http://mature.freexmovies.info]mature[/url] [url=http://lesbians.freexmovies.info]lesbians[/url] [url=http://lesbian-porn.freexmovies.info]lesbian-porn[/url] [url=http://interracial.freexmovies.info]interracial[/url] [url=http://home-porn.freexmovies.info]home-porn[/url] [url=http://hardcore.freexmovies.info]hardcore[/url] [url=http:
//hairy-pussy.freexmovies.info]hairy-pussy[/url] [url=http://gays.freexmovies.info]gays[/url] [url=http://fat-porn.freexmovies.info]fat-porn[/url] [url=http://ebony-movies.freexmovies.info]ebony-movies[/url] [url=http://blowjob.freexmovies.info]blowjob[/url] [url=http://big-tits.freexmovies.info]big-tits[/url] [url=http://bdsm.freexmovies.info]bdsm[/url] [url=http://asia.freexmovies.info]asia[/url] [url=http://anal-sex.freexmovies.info]anal-sex[/url] [url=http://amature-porn.freexmovies.info]amature-porn[/url] [url=http://adult.freexmovies.info]adult[/url]

11:01 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I like rubberanima.blogspot.com design.

[url=http://www.windloadanalysis.com/Members/vitalx/page2.html?viagra]levitra vs viagra[/url]
[url=http://viagra.nick-and-nate.com/index.php?viagra]viagra online[/url]
[url=http://www.spin-sthlm.org/Members/mrnice/generic-viagra.html?viagra]discount viagra online[/url]
[url=http://appliworks.jondesign.net/Members/mrnice/viagra-help.html?buy-viagra]viagra uk[/url]
[url=http://zope.ledes.net/ledes/Members/mrnice/viagra-online.html?buy-viagra]cialis levitra sales viagra[/url]
[url=http://appliworks.jondesign.net/Members/vitalx/page2.html?viagra]viagra cialis[/url]
[url=http://www.windloadanalysis.com/Members/vitalx/page2.html?buy-viagra]herbal alternative viagra[/url]


6:11 PM


Post a Comment

<< Home

hit counter html code